In the Deep Freeze

Brrrr…it’s cold. And the days are still short even though they have been getting longer since the solstice. The conditions are perfect for hibernation. The only thing is I am not a bear. It is in conditions like these that I wish otherwise. I am not a fan of the extreme cold and I am not a fan of the short days.

What do you do when it is this cold and unpleasant? If you must go outside, then you wear a parka and snow pants and definitely have the woollies underneath it all. Indoor pursuits are definitely the way to go.

The dog and I have had lots of snuggle time on the couch with almost equal doses of Netflix and Amazon Prime videos. Physio exercises are at the top of the list. I have been happily and excitedly working on my Level Up Garment Construction program. And of course, I’m back to practising piano and trumpet after a short break.

Honestly, I am wishing I could hibernate. January, for me, is a month when I feel like I am running through molasses. It happens every year, even in those years when I lived in the southern parts of Indiana and even my winter in Tennessee. I found it was not nearly as bad as it is in Fort McMurray. And so, it has me thinking. It has me considering my options.

In October, my life changed rather unexpectedly. I always refer to this time of transition as a void. I used to hate and resent the voids. Now, with more age and more experience, I have a different perspective on the void.

Voids are not bad things. Can they be stressful? Yes. One part of your life has ended and now there is this great unknown ahead. What does that look like? What will it look like? That really isn’t what the focus should be.

Grief is a part of the void. Grief for what has ended. Allowing time for that emotion to move through your mind and body is important. Nothing new can come until you are ready to be open. Once you are ready, then you can embrace the future.

The future is a blank canvas yet to be painted. So, instead of focusing on the stress and anxiety, think about what paint and what picture you want on that canvas. Life is one big creative project, after all.

My thoughts are drifting to what things I want in my future. I can say that I am considering this winter weather as part of my canvas. Do I want this to continue to be a part of my life? Or shall this be something that needs to change? Do I want to stay in northern Alberta? If I leave, where do I go? If I go, then when do I go? So many choices. How do you know if there is a right one or a wrong one?

There are lots of things to consider. What to choose? For now, it will be Netflix, music, and fabric, and I will listen to my inner voice to hear what needs to be on the canvas, instead of letting my ego or the anxiety of being in the void decide for me.