A Smart Person Is Still A Person

Warning!! This post is partially a rant and partially an attempt to breathe. Sometimes, the words that you want to say just sit in your throat, unspoken, and start to choke off air flow and the words that follow behind them. The only way to clear the throat is to say what you need to say. Then, you can breathe, as well as say the words that have gotten stuck.

Soon, I will be starting my sixth decade. Where did the time go? And if there is one thing that I have often wished I could have changed it is how much people tend to focus on and fixate on how I am smart. There, I said it. The one thing a smart person is never allowed to say in our society. My whole life I have never been allowed to say that. I am smart. I even had to pause before I wrote that phrase, it is so ingrained in me to not ever say that. It is taboo.

It is not taboo for other people to say it. It is taboo for me to say it. For me to say it, any listener apparently assumes that I am arrogant, stuck up, or any other version of those words. Why should it be taboo for me to say it? And it is this that I want to talk about.

“Smart” is a trait that is inherited. A person can do things to enhance it and a lot of other things can be done to try to kill off brain cells. It is something that a person is born with - much like a person has blue eyes, brown hair, a small jaw that will cause your adult teeth to grow in crooked, requiring braces in your teens, or having skin so white, you practically glow in the dark. I can tell people any of those (except I never had to have braces!). But, I cannot tell anyone that I am smart without offending the listener or sounding like I am bragging. Although, how is stating a fact bragging?

So, what is “smart”? Smart refers to the ability to process and utilise various types of information. That can also include a person’s ability to remember various pieces of information, including the volume of information that an individual can remember. When we say a person is smart, it is inferred that this ability is more remarkable in that individual. It is not something that they choose. It is just how a person is, and yes, it does shape how a person grows and develops. Gender, and other traits also play a role in that as well.

Sadly, it is also a trait that others will use to justify all kinds of horrible behaviour and statements. It is amazing how people will weaponize it against the smart person. A smart person is a person. But yet, there are many who focus on the smart and forget about the human being. Smart does not mean that they are devoid of feelings and emotions and that their feelings and emotions can’t be hurt.

In addition to not being able to acknowledge that I am smart, I have ended up on some pretty nasty comments and behaviours that the perpetrator has justified by saying that it is because I am smart. Seriously?!?! Just because I am, or any other person is, smart, it does not mean that anyone has permission to behave badly, nor is it an acceptable reason for anyone to be mean, cruel, and nasty. None of that is okay. Smart does not equate to being bulletproof.

What kind of statements am I referring to? Here are some examples, and why the specific statement is not okay:

• “Too smart for your own good!” This one really needs to disappear from our society. When I hear this one, I hear that you are going to stab me in the back or do some dastardly deed and are justifying it because the speaker feels inadequate in some way. I wonder is this a request to make myself less?

• “I can do (or say) [X] because you are smart and will be okay.” Another one that says that the speaker feels utterly inadequate and while admitting to it, is just justifying what a nasty piece of work they are by trying to cause or create a problem in my life. Apparently, they are in a position where doing the right thing is too hard for some reason.

• “I can say [X] because you are smart and it won’t bother you.” For some reason, this speaker thinks that I am devoid of feelings and that it is perfectly okay to trample them. It’s not.

And my all time favourite:

• “I didn’t want to be your friend because you are smart. I am only your friend because I feel sorry for you.” Really?!?! A smart person is a charity case? Wow. It has been twenty years since I heard this one. The speaker in this case was someone I genuinely cared about and had spent time with over the span of decades. I still have no real words for this one.

These are just a few of the highlights. Even typing these just really annoys me.

Smart does not mean that all other human emotions or needs are missing, or do not count. Smart does not mean that the person does not need or want friends or other human connections. It has always been somewhat disturbing that people are somewhat shocked that I might actually consider another individual interesting, whether it is just for friendship or something more. Smart people are people, too.

A person who is smart, knows that they are smart, does not automatically think that everyone is stupid. Nor do they automatically think that they are better than everyone around them. A truly smart person realizes that as smart as they are in some things, they have their limitations. I know I do! For instance, do not ask me to file papers!! Not something I can do…seriously…And there is always going to be someone who is smarter, or has had more learning opportunities. If you think or feel that the smart person is looking down on you or judging you harshly, then that is on you, not them. Not all smart people are judgey folk, just like not all judgey folk are smart.

Finally, the last point that totally drives me bonkers. It is the spoken, and unspoken, expectation that I am to make myself and my abilities appear to be less to make other people feel better. Why is that my job? It is my duty on this earth to use my abilities to fulfil the role that God, the universe, providence, etc. has assigned me. While I empathise about feeling inadequate, the fragility of ego is not on me, but on the other person. It’s on them, not me.

In fact, I believe that most of the horrendous behaviours and statements are expressions of fragile egos. Many of the statements and behaviours are just horrible presentations of the speaker/perpetrator. In fact, if I didn’t think horribly of the individual before they spoke/acted, I sure as hell did after the fact! Asshole behaviour is still asshole behaviour regardless of the individual who is on the receiving end. And that is on them, not me.

I do wish this wasn’t such a taboo subject. And like all rants, I now feel better. If there is anything I really want to highlight, it is that a person is still a person, regardless of their intelligence, eye colour, hair colour, crooked teeth, height, etc.

And that is the end of my rant…until the next time… 🙂